After Quinn was born sleeping, not only was my heart broken, but my arms were left literally aching.
Aching for a six pound, three ounce, little lady who was lost from our (physical) lives, but not our minds.
Not merely in our memories were there reminders that she was missing, but the space she once occupied in my womb was “supposed” to move into my arms.
(Something I’m now extremely aware of not being guaranteed.)
There was more than just an end to the dreams of our imagined & anticipated future together as a family.
There was a physical, tangible, slightly-over-six-pound space that I searched & needed something to fill to help me ease this excruciating ache.
So, in December of 2015, a little over two months after Quinn was born sleeping, I signed my name to the waiting list for a Molly Bear.
A Molly Bear is a unique, one-of-a-kind, handmade teddy bear that is individually customized for & weighted to the same weight as your lost child. (Who was under a year old at the time of passing.)
The Story behind Molly Bears
In May of 2010, a woman, Bridget Crews, lost her daughter, Molly Christine, at 34 weeks gestation because of a true knot in Molly’s umbilical cord. In an attempt to comfort Bridget, a friend from high school gave her a three pound weighted teddy bear.
From that kind gesture, Bridget was inspired to create a bear that was the same weight as her daughter, Molly. Once she did, Bridget, while holding her Molly Bear, was finally able to sleep for the first time in the initial weeks after her Molly had passed.
It was from this comfort, and a desire to help other angel families, that Molly Bears was born!
How does Molly Bears work?
On the 30th of every month, Molly Bears allows a limited, specifically specified number of parents the ability to add themselves to the waiting list for a bear. (Only parents are able to add themselves to the list.) The spaces fill-up almost immediately, so it’s important that if you are adamant about adding yourself to the list that you act quickly on the day the list is live. (It took me multiple list openings to secure myself a space.)
In order to secure your your spot the list, you fill out a form & pay a $20 “place holding fee.” Once your payment processes, you’re allowed to specify two “requests” for your bear, you’re assigned a number and you’re added to the list.
The wait time ranges anywhere from 6 – 8 months as of right now. While you are initially placed on a waiting list, there are ways to donate in order to get added into a lottery your bear to be chosen to move up on the list & be made sooner than your initial place in line. It doesn’t matter if you had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other loss that occurred before your child was one year old, as long as you’re the parent, you can sign-up.
Molly Bears runs completely on donations and the bear makers volunteer in honor of their own children or family members who have gone too soon.
www.mollybears.org
Care to meet Quinn Bear?
This is Quinn Bear.
She’s perfect.
I specified in the request section that, “Pink reminds me of her and so do dragonflies” and my bear maker, Beth, captured it magically.
She has a flower in her hair, much like the flowers I wear in my hair almost daily. (Which was a wonderful coincidence and not even specified!) I still can’t believe that she somehow knew how I’d want her to have a pink flower in her hair!
It also looks just like the flower headband my loving midwife bought for her at the hospital after she was delivered and we found out she was a girl. Quinn wore it in a few of her newborn pictures.
(Which is also ironic because while I was pregnant, I swore that “if we’re having a girl, everything will not be pink,” and now everything pink reminds me of Quinn.)
I’m still looking for a matching Quinn flower for my hair.
There aren’t words to accurately articulate what it feels like to hold the exact 6 pounds 3 oz she weighed again.
I’m eternally grateful to Molly Bears and Beth, a woman I’ll never know, who handmade my Quinn Bear with love in honor of her son Jackson.
(I read about her on the tag Quinn Bear was shipped having.)
Beth, I love your Jackson and I’ll think of him often. There’s a little more comfort in my life because of you. My family, heart and soul thank you.
Quinn Bear comes with our family on outings & adventures!
We included her when we announced that I was pregnant with her litter brother.
And she was right by side at birth of our son, her little brother, River.
We include her when we’re celebrating special occasions & milestones…
…and we like to include her in our family photos.
It helps us feel like a tangible piece of our daughter is with us.
While nothing can or ever will replace our daughter Quinn, our Molly Bear brings much needed catharsis & comfort to me and my family.
*For more information, or to sign-up for a Molly Bear of your own, visit www.mollybears.org.
Be sure to share this with any parent(s) of a child gone too soon who may have an ache in their heart and arms that they’re looking to fill.
Sharing is caring, and caring is love. <3
xoxo
Stephanie
