I’m sure you’re wondering what my weight loss wake-up call was.
(Who wouldn’t be?)

I mean, 110 pounds is not small-scale weight loss!
(Pun completely intended!)

And changing your entire life is no small chore…

It all started in the summer of 2011…

[cue dreamy harp segue music as we fade to black before the obvious anticipated flashback]

…while I was visiting Hershey Park (the sweet treat themed amusement park in south central Pennsylvania) with my family.

We were waiting in a “forecasted forty five minute” line, anxiously awaiting my favorite feet-dangling roller coaster in the park.

Anticipation hung in the air, and it was as palpable as the smell of cinnamon-covered-churros that enveloped us.

I scanned the line that snaked around us.
It was prime people-watching time!

I noticed friends friending and couples coupling, and I smiled to myself as I fantasized about what they could possibly be fathoming. (I’m not going to lie, my mind was caught-up on those churros. This mama loves herself some sweet yet savory snacks!)

As I allowed my mind to wander, a staggering situation became blatant.
Everyone in line seemed significantly smaller than me! (And I’m not talking by only one puny pants size!)

“You’re exaggerating,” I reassured myself as more musings mounted in my mind.
But a strong, sudden, sensation of stress saturated every cell in my body.
My pulse quickened, my palms began to sweat and I entered a state of pure panic.
My heart was pounding in my ears and pummeling against my chest.

Suddenly, my size was on the forefront of my mind.

A wave of nausea crashed over me as my stomach simultaneously knitted itself into a knot.

Unsettling thoughts started streaming through my mind…

“Am I going to fit on this ride??”
“Am I going to have to walk out, without riding, with everyone knowing why?”
“What should I do?!”

Moments later, I started considering secretly sneaking out of line, sparing myself from (possibly) experiencing the incredible embarrassment of exiting the line passed everyone who would have witnessed me not being able to be successfully seatbelted in…

But I felt equally embarrassed by the thought of forcing myself to “face the facts” in front of, and having to explain my fears to my family. (A catch 22!)

Were my fears warranted?
Unable to ride?
It was unfathomable.

“Surely I had seen others my size who were able to experience & enjoy this rollercoaster?”
“Would the regret of not trying ride be worse than the embarrassment of not fitting?”

I spent the rest of the wait meticulously comparing my size to everyone around us in line.

Before too long, it was our turn.
And to my dismay, I had to face the fact that I was indeed unable to be safely secured.
The harness couldn’t come down over my shoulders and lock or even click into the seatbelt below.

Before this moment, I had never felt so mortified in my life!
Tears stung my reddened face, as I power walked passed the onlookers.

Until this moment, I was able to live my life in denial.

I was able to make excuses for not exercising.
I was able to not consider having to buy bigger clothes a major inconvenience.
I was almost able to ignore the warnings from my doctor that because of my weight, I was pre-diabetic & doing disastrous damage to my knees.

But this?!?

To be denied access to something that makes me smile so much & makes my soul shine?

It was unthinkable.

This was a warranted wake-up call!

It was what forced me to wrap my mind around reality.

I was a size 22, I weighed 265 pounds & I was sick & suffering.
(And to top it off, now I was unable to enjoy one of my favorite things in the world.)

I was no longer in denial & it was no longer the way I wanted to live my life!
I decided, in that moment, that I was fed up & that I never wanted to feel the way I was feeling ever again!

I was determined.

I felt a sense of commitment that I had never experienced prior to that moment.

I could feel it all the way to my bones.
There was a fire lit inside me.

On the drive home, I decided that I needed to start from scratch.
It didn’t matter that when we got home it was almost midnight…
I cleaned everything out of my cabinets.
I stayed up all night searching & scouring the internet, reading resources for how to improve my health.
I googled “most nutrient dense foods,” “food pyramids,” “serving sizes” and for “daily recommended nutritional requirements.”
(All things I knew next to nothing about).
I made a color-coated, three columbed grocery list.
I downloaded the app “my fitness pal” to my phone (to track & count my calories).
I bought two books & signed up for multiple blog newsletters…

All in one evening.

Not knowing how this would go, I made the generalized goal for myself that I would “improve my health, stop feeling sick, and stop settling.”
I even typed and printed out my list of goals and pinned it to my bulletin board!
(Which I now know was my early take on dream boards, visualisation and affirmations.)
I took small steps with the information I started with, and went from there.
Every day after, I aimed to enlighten myself by reading at least one article about something new.
And eventually I was a wealth of knowledge!

To read about what happened next, return to my About Me Page.

To contact me, you can email me via Stephanie@crunchyveggiemama.com