I woke up early that morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep.
My thoughts had been in a very dark place and I needed to remind myself that there’s a reason to keep getting out of bed in the morning.
So I drove to the place where I feel the most connected to my daughter and the most connected to the universe… the beach.
I sat there and asked the universe, “Why?”
I got no answer.
I asked the universe, “What if…”
And I got no answer.
But when I was about to stand-up from my place in the sand, I noticed seagull footprints, and a castle and it dawned on me…
Those things would all be gone by the end of the day. They would all be washed or blown away and they would leave an empty canvas for the next day for new footprints and new castles…
But that doesn’t make the times spent making the castles and making the footprints any less significant.
Just because someone is no longer physically in your life every day, it doesn’t mean their presence wasn’t life changing and profound, that their life didn’t have meaning and that they didn’t bring you joy and create meaningful memories…
Quinn’s life was short, but completely filled with love & she left a profound change in me and on my heart.
There will be a new day and a new canvas to leave footprints on in the morning- but that doesn’t take away from what was there the previous day.
I need to take that joy into tomorrow & continue to paint the canvas to honor the time she was here leaving footprints and love on my heart.
For you, babygirl, I’ll keep painting…
For your memory and for your daddy…
For everyone showing me compassion and love…
I’m going to keep on painting.
